It was sunny morning at the Beach, Mr. L lied on the sunny beach and tried to continue with his book about ładny polin…

-…and then she said, the first look should say something, you have to feel something at first look when you look a guy, and she knew that he is not the guy,

-if you give me change maybe you fell in love with me, not all the guys are the same, but he wanted to say more he wanted to say, people used to things that they have already know, people are afraid to go beyond what they have already experienced in their lives,but is this all not an illusion? is it not too superficial if somebody wanted to feel something special at firsl look, you dont know the guy, how it is possible at first look you feel something, or maybe you are too polite to say that he is too ugly for you. but how it is possible that many ugly people have beutiful partners. but he couldnt say these thoughts…

and then she said:
I know i dont want more for you and in the future too , maybe you dont like to read this but i am honest, and dont have time to spend with you…

and then he said:
I take my chances with you if you agree to see eachtother 1 time in month…he thought to himself… WTF am i doing, why i said that to her…why i go so far below for this lady, why? he knew the answer already, he wanted to prove something to her, he wanted to prove she is wrong about him, he wanted to prove her if she has a little patience she could see something special, but is it not just waisting his time has he already knew the outcome, has he already tried this way before…

but after she said
I dont know i have to think about this.

he thought to himself:
and that is a tiny hope, maybe she wants to try and give it a shot,

and then he said:
you can ask me any question you like,

_ but i dont have any question

_ok then i ask you some he thought maybe he asks her and then he can also answer his own questions in this way she also knows him, she was different in many ways,and thats why he continued writing and asking, but he forget again something that he should NOT be too pushy and say lots of things too much asking and too much pushing he could push her far far away… he made that mistake because he thought she was different, he was too afraid to lose her, maybe she finds a handsome blonde tall guy tommorow… and then thats it she will go with him…he was wondering, what really people wants in their lives why so many people wondering, they dont know what they want, maybe they know but what they know what they wish to have is something impossible, you look too far away and you forget the things that near by you, the things that makes you happy, but people dont see them because in appearance they are too normal, too ugly or too common. People getting old and they think they will finally find their love of their lives, but is this not a bunch of crap… when people get older their standards are gowing lower, because it is how it works because they get mature they become wiser, and their Brain adjust itself to the situation, they dont feel this change because they have to protect themselves they have to feel good feel real love their brain just trick them to feel that way. But the truth is that they are changing and their wishes from life is also changing and then they think they find their love of their lives, at that moment if they go back in time, they will understand maybe 5 years a go that guy or girls was too common too ugly too usual…

and then she said:
it is too much or me all your writings and comments please undersand and dont wrrite to me any more.

He knew that he made a mistake, he shouldnt push too hard, but was it not obvious from the beginning, was it not obvious at some point she will be afraid to go beyond, maybe he should be more slow, but how much slow, he thought maybe if he was tall beutiful blonde guy the life was much easier on him. but is that what he wanted a superficial life, just like other cliche ppeople, cliche lovestories bunch of crap that people tell eachtother to feel better about their lives. he knew he wanted more he wanted something special. why people are so difficult, so predictable… he said to himself, maybe milions of people have read already the book small prince, the simple book maybe they say it is a nice book maybe say it is a beutiful book but why they dont understand it. why they dont read it properly, if they say it is a nice book why they dont read it carefully what the fox said, patience and uniekness. it is a madness and he knew he better go back to his readings. the funny thing that he is always too optimistic about people.he thought if she is special if she is different maybe she changes her mind. he knew that it doenst happen he refuses to accept it, stupid hope.

after a cup of thee Mr .L smiled went back to his hotel and watched his favorite serie, “This is us” season 1 episode 8, Pilgrim Rick, there was a beuatiful Quote in the serie

“William Hill: It feels… like all these beautiful pieces of life are flying around me and I’m trying to catch them. When my granddaughter falls asleep in my lap I try to catch the feeling of her breathing against me. When I make my son laugh I try to catch the sound of him laughing-how it rolls up from his chest… but the pieces are moving faster now and I can’t catch them all. I can feel them slipping through my fingertips. And soon where there used to be my granddaughter breathing and my son laughing, there will be nothing. I know it feels like you have all the time in the world, but you don’t. so stop playing it so cool. Catch the moments of your life, catch them while you’re young and quick, because sooner than you know it, you’ll be old and slow… and there’ll be no more of them to catch. And when a nice boy who adores you offers you pie, say thank you.”

the next day, he woke upe and he was planning to go to the bookshop to buy some books, it was christmas days so the bookstore was decorated chrismasy, he made a photo and send it to her, she responded fast so he sit on a chair with his books and send her couple of massages, it was a really nice feeling that sharing a moment with somone he liked, he went to the second store and there he bought some comicon T shirt for himself and then he found a wonderwoman t-shirt, red small size, he thought she would be perfect in this colour so he bought it for her. he buoght also rapping paper and then went back home, wss nice day at the bookstore. actually this happend befor she sent a massage to him that he should send her any massages, but he already knew that…
couple of days later he saw her at the gym and gave the t-shirt to her. she was beutiful as always, nice smile, beutiful blue eyes she also did something to her eyebrows to make even more beutiful. she smiled and they talk

he: i was the other day at the bookstore and i saw this cool small thing for you so i bought it, f it is small please let me know i can change it for a bigger one.
he added: maybe i could write small question for you still,,
she: no please, i dont want to hurt you, 95 % i dont see us together..
he: i take that 5%
she: no please you should write to me the last massage was too personal and i dont want to share that kind of things with you
he: why you dont want to give me a chance
she: i saw something in your eyes first time and i dont see us together
he: but maybe if you know me you fall in love with you
she: i dont want to know you because i dont see you as a future boyfriend or …but again i will think about it i will let you know..
he knew she is just too kind, she doesnt want to hurt him, it was new for him actually because most girsl does not give a shit about his feeleings, but this one was different, but after couple of hours she sent a massage inwhich she told him that she thought and the answer is NO. that was actualy too fast thinking he thought to himself. in 2 hours without knowing a person coming to the conclusion that the answer is NO. but he doesnt expect too much actually. the fact is that she is too kind and she tried hard to not make him sad. and that was actually really nice of her…

listening to cheryy blossom of joe satriani thinking about her, it is crazy how world actually works, why he should be a wolf to get what he wants? he felt so miserable and nothing he coudl do about it. that feeling in his heart is priceless to him, that feeleing that might come from his cultural background, that the love of path is hard and long, he knew already he will never could be with her, but the hope the feeeling and the thought hoeever they are just part of a small fraction of his life, they are beautiful , the feeleing of love in his heart. no matter he could be with here or not the feeeling is nice and beautifull, something to hold on for him. in his thought she was his, she was alwasy meant to be with him. in his thoughts he would do anything for her make her happy. those feeelings and hopes and thoughts are the things that meant in his life.